A.K.A. Teacher.

You can see them in the corner, swiftly changing from bathing suit cover-ups and flip-flops, to new Anne Taylor Loft capris, cotton shirts, and noiseless shoes. Or, they may donning pressed khakis and wearing Tweetie Pie ties. The fancy-free summer personas disappear with the twirl of a lasso.They are armed with  bulletin board borders, items to be laminated, and school-issued lap tops.They become unrecognizable to family and friends. They have vague likenesses to those fun, deck-sitting, staying up late, vacation going, sleeping in people.

I finally understand the entire Clarke Kent-Superman, Diane Prince-Wonder Woman confusion. Were people really that confused about their identities? Seriously? But they inherently changed because they had to save people, and get rid of the bad guys. This made them unrecognizable.

Who are the bad guys in education, you may wonder? It doesn’t matter, because if you trust us, we can take care of them.

But, as I am part of the annual teacher transformation, I understand Clark’s and Diane’s struggles. And yes, I’m saying that teachers are like Superman and Wonder Woman. To be a superhero, one must eliminate the mundane, and embrace hope and determination. . We have to be dynamic, wear magic accessories, and proficiently spin.

The minute we walk into the school, after a few weeks of summer, we slough off the frolicking, singing birds, and popsicles. We instantly begin planning, organizing, discussing, hot-gluing, taping, shifting, maneuvering, and sweating.There is no in-between, adjusting period. In fact, we are a bit scary. Okay, quite scary.

This post is just a shout out to my teacher friends. Their ambition, passion, love for education, and continual quest to learn more and enhance their craft, is enough to get anyone motivated for another school year.

Our summer selves are somewhere, inside of us, throughout the year. Hopefully, they won’t entirely disappear. The year will consume us. But, this is the sacrifice superheros must make.

K

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Their, They’re, There, it will be okay…

A homophone is a word that is pronounced like another word, but it has a different spelling and meaning. 

There is a  literary pandemic of homophonphobia-the fear of actually checking to see what you wrote is actually the correct form of what you intended to write. Now, I know use dashes too much–semi-colons just don’t do it for me.  And not too long ago, a friend schooled me on the proper use of a colon. But, for the love–heard and herd are not interchangeable. They never have been, and they never will be. It is like saying that two plus two is suddenly five. Just in case anyone is wondering, these homophone lessons can be found in the second grade curriculum.

I put this lesson together to clarify the issue.

“Has anyone seen Logray? We are supposed to have lunch.”

“Isn’t he over they’re?”

“Stop right there Troopie! You used the wrong form of there. THEY’RE is a con-trac-tion. It means they are. So you were really saying, “He was over they are.” Now that doesn’t make sense, does it?”

“Why do I get the feeling he is over their?”

“Goodness gracious! The grammar force is definitely NOT with you! You used the wrong form of there.  You used THEIR which shows ownership. Now that doesn’t make sense, does it? Look! THERE he is! It looks like he made a few friends.”

The next lesson will be on threw, through, and thru.

K

Invasion of the Recycling Bins

My environmental science class is slowly altering me, like the pods-I’m slowly being taken over, and there will be another, just like me-reducing, reusing, and recycling. I’ve been aware, and haphazardly tossing my La Croix, snob water, cans into the recycling bins. But, after a few weeks of environmental science, the guilt began to eat at me. Isn’t it always true that our intentions are to save the planet…..later?  I did some research, because that is how I roll before I take on another obsessive habit. Only about 30% of people in the south-east recycle from their homes. More people recycle in the north than they do in the south.

I sit in class with eleven environmentally savvy people. Yes, they are a bit weird, and the idea of watering your lawn with the water from your shower caused an electric stir throughout the room. (My professor suggested that we put a bucket under us as we shower.) Apparently, going green isn’t always convenient, comfortable, or attractive.

He asked us this-“How many of you get rid of your clothes because they are worn out?”

Silence.

Student: “Do you mean if there is a stain on it?”

Professor: “Can you still wear clothing if there is a stain on it”

Student: “Yes, but why would we?”

Professor: “Because it serves the purpose of clothing you.”

I glanced at my new DSW, sparkly wedges. The thrill of the sparkle was cloaked in blackness.

Professor: “What would happen if (those of you who love shoes) were to give up all of your shoes except for one pair that would get you through the season?”

I broke into a cold sweat. My left leg involuntarily shook. Visions of my color-coded closet being emptied made me dizzy. I believe I had the vapors for a moment.

It would have to be like a 12-step program. You can’t go all cold turkey on a shoe obsession for goodness sake!  This idea is not possible, at the moment.

Professor: “How many of you could change your habit of buying new clothes, and only wear clothes from consignment or hand-me-downs.?”

Student: “Sorry, I have to draw the line there. I don’t know what those people did in those clothes.”

Our professor poses these questions to make us think. I began to wonder why I have so many things that I don’t need.

The turning point was our discussion about the book Ishmael. Well, maybe it was this quote that made me perk up one Saturday morning,

“TEACHER seeks pupil. Must have an earnest desire to save the world. Apply in person.” Daniel Quinn-Ishmael.

Every summer, I seek out what will put that first-year-teacher mojo back into my spirit. This just may do it.

The teacher in this story is a gorilla. He is telepathic, and he is able to teach the ‘narrator’ how things came to be. The premise of the book is that there is more than one species on the planet. Sustainability is a collective effort. Get off your butt. Do something. Of course, as I was listening to the discussion, I was sipping from my Dunkin Donuts to-go cup.

Environmentalism is like a flu virus. You get exposed, then 3-5 days later, the effects begin to take over. I have this nightmare, that I’ll be that lady who dries her paper towels, breaks appointments with friends to rinse the plastics,  and keeps the same paper bag for her lunch for three years. I will be shunned, and people will tease me by throwing recyclables into the trash.

It is just that I’ve never met an environmentalist who wasn’t, well….a bit fanatical. I have witnessed, the go greeneries, filtering out the non-recyclables from the recyclables. They are in a frenzy, and we all know never to make eye contact. Because, inevitably, we are the ones who tossed the styrofoam cup into the bin, on our way to some very important place. Now, I appreciate their efforts. There are a few people who try to keep us all on track. No wonder they are manic and angry. They are doing their part, which is way more than many of us are doing.

I had to conduct a data-driven experiment for my final project in environmental science. I wanted to see what would motivate my daughters to recycle more. Yes, there were variables like one stealing from the other’s bins. They both took from my bins, and suckered people to save their recycling. My smaller one, collected beer cans from my neighbor. But, by the end of the month, during the last week-my recycling bins were filled to capacity, and my trash output had decreased. During this time, I became that frenzied recyclist who began following my children when they get up to toss something.

Me: “Where are you going to put that?”

Child caught in the scary mom vortex: “Um…in the…well…um the recycle bin-yes…it is going there.”

Me: “Right answer.” (Insert cackle).

Hopefully, my kids will think about their carbon footprints a little more. I know I will.

This week is the 4th of July. I won’t begin to discuss the firework/atmosphere controversy.

Happy Fourth!

K