Sea Foam, Butt Implants, and Teachers‘ Secret Thoughts

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-zuk5y-11081de

This is our 25th episode! 
Our Twisted Lit segment is brought to by Kim and Jen’s daughters, Brooke and Violet. Violet tells the real story of The Little Mermaid. We wonder: Does it hurt turning into sea foam? Is it better to be a really good dancer but when you dance there are searing pains in your legs, or would you rather just keep your fin? 
Brooke shared her not-so-fond memories of The Lord of the Flies, and she teaches us to choose our leaders wisely, otherwise they may murder us.  Kim and Jen talk about Madonna and her alleged butt implants.  They just want to know the truth. Then they delve into what not to say to students, and how to use the Fu** with intention.  

Fire in the Arteries, Cannibalism, and Apple Peelers

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-9rsqq-10fedca

Kim survives a harrowing experience of almost being run over by a parent. They discuss how some parents are upset with teachers for not passing out bday invites to a few kids instead of the entire class. One parent says, “This isn’t a soup kitchen.” WTF?
Then they delve into how shadow puppet artistry and knitting socks arent exactly indicators of giftedness. Jen takes us down the twisted rabbit hole of The Juniper Tree in Twisted Lit. We learn that hot flashes going uncared for could lead to some very bad choices, including but not limited to, decapitation, severing limbs, and cannibalism.

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Also, tune into https://linktr.ee/NightClassyMoney2ByrnePodastWomen Who Sarcast Podcast, and check out Women Who Podcast Magazine
Wanting to know more about the tape that sticks to cinder-block walls? Go to: Mavalus Tape
Let them know Twisted Teacher sent you!

A teacher’s Take: Is it Inappropriate to Hand out Bday Invitation in Class?
Mensa-Where Brilliance Belongs….
The Juniper Tree

Twisted Teacher and Night Classy For their First Collab!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-j6jnc-10ed56d

Kim, Jen, Kat, and Hayley talk about old people having babies, Viking overload, Devious Licks vs Angelic Yields, and what brought the Night Classy ladies into education. Twisted Lit delves into why Penta chopped off her hands, sentient sausages plotting to eat each other, and Amelia Bedelia shaming.
Please rate, review, and subscribe to both Twisted Teacher Podcast and Night Classy Podcast!

@Twisted__Teacher https://linktr.ee/twistedteacher
@Night Classy https://linktr.ee/NightClassy

Twisted Teacher and the Awful, Shi**y, No Good, Fu**ing, Ridiculous Day!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-6hxq6-10e6dbf

This one’s a doozy!! Jen gives her an incredibly, funny, very good,  twisted take on a famous children’s book. Kim drags us all through the circles of hell where she and Jen find some uncanny similarities to the levels of hell at work. They continue their tales of projects gone wrong with glue gun safety issues, Blooms Ball busts, smelly recyclables, and card box towns painted with eight gallons of tempura paint taking over their classrooms.
Also, Jen celebrated her *9th birthday and will soon be in the same age box as Kim.
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LINKTREE

Tain‘t No Class for That!

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-kmu39-10e1cdc

Jen and Kim talk about Kutcher’s stance on the whole ‘bathing debacle’. They discuss the basic anatomy of the nether regions.  Kim goes off on TikTok and Devious Licks.  They explore jumper issues and why the GPS voice lady is out to get us They delve into when teachers tattle and project-based learning gone wrong. Twisted Lit leaves us wondering why we can still purchase chastity belts on Amazon, and how the hell our parents let us read Flowers in the Attic?

TWISTED TEACHER LINK TREE

Please subscribe to our podcast and leave some 5-star reviews!!!!
Are celebrities bathing their kids enough? Experts shower us with advice,
X-Rated Pumpkin Rhyme
Ben Affleck Has No Idea Why He Lied About His Massive Back Tattoo Either
Origin of Rub-A-Dub-Dub Nursery Rhyme
Flowers in the Attic Summary

 

If the Goblin Ice Babies Won‘t Sit Criss-Cross Applesause, One Must Grobbelsquirt Them.

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-vcdhh-10d1664

What a week! Jen has a work dilemma, Kim talks about the laminating caper and a crazy Utah teacher.  Jen’s husband finds her hiding in her car, watching TIK TOK videos. Kim is moving and keeping the wine business afloat. Twisted Lit brings us goblin ice babies, a sweet wife bludgeoning her husband with a leg of lamb, and many coined words thanks to Roald Dahl. Go ahead and whiffswiddle your way to your favorite podcast app, and become beffsquiggled by our episode!

LINK TREE

Lamb to The Slaughter Summary
Roald Dahl Fun Facts
Roald Dahl: The Best Gobblefunk Dictionary
Outside Over There Summary
Utah Teacher Gone Wild
8th Graders Lead Effort to Pardon Wrongly Convicted Witch
A sixth-grade history project exonerated the captain of the USS Indianapolis

Mommies who Stalk, Recess Hell, and Dismissal Don’ts

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-vsa97-10be50b

Jen and Kim discuss retirement options and how you shouldn’t joke with the retirement system employees. They decide to make a new class for education degrees: recess, dismissal, morning routines, and teacher duties. Kim delves into why a lottery isn’t always a good thing,  and Jen lets us know that she LOVES US FOREVER in Twisted Lit.

Teachers’ Mental Health Has Suffered During the Pandemic
Lottery Sparknotes
I Love You Forever

The Little F**ker and Pinocchio Moved Their Clips to Red.

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-jjx6s-10af2a0

Jen finds a little F**cker fishing in her backyard. They discuss the murderous tendencies of Mary Mary quite contrary and Pinocchio. They wonder…what would happen if teachers had a clip up/down system? Who would be on red first? Kim or Jen?

https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/Nursery-Rhymes/#:~:text=The%20tragic%20Mary%20Queen%20of,Mary%2C%20Mary%20quite%20contrary%E2%80%9D.&text=Mary%20was%20a%20devout%20Catholic,’Mary%20Mary%20quite%20contrary’.
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/03/original-story-pinocchio-killed-jiminy-cricket-got-feet-burnt-hanged-assassins/
https://www.parents.com/kids/education/kindergarten/why-classroom-clip-charts-do-more-harm-than-good/